How to Find Your Voice amidst adversity

How to Find Your Voice amidst adversity

How to Find Your Voice amidst adversity is Wendy’s story in a nutshell. From changing her story and finding her voice, Wendy has done it all. Drug addictions, Pyschotic breakdowns, jail and shooting her husbands mistress. An unbelievable story of adversity but more importantly of hope too.

“I believe that love is action” by Wendy Adamson #78

Wendy Adamson, has a story that sounds like it is from a Hollywood movie. Almost so morbid and depressive, when we signal the events but one that has a bright light at the end of the tunnel. Distraught and riddled with adversity, Wendy has seen her own mother who was diagnosed Schizophrenic commit suicide. She has seen first hand the problems drugs and alcohol can have on a family. Yet during her early years she was unable to change her circumstances and her choices led to her having a psychotic breakdown and following the footsteps of her mom.

To make things worse, Wendy then ended up shooting at the mistress of her husband and found her life spiralling out of control straight into country jail. Needing to now take action, and accountable for her decisions and choices Wendy started with forgiveness. She began to show her sons the love of a mother through her actions. Now a women of service Wendy shares her stories of adversity and experience to help others. Someone who is an author, a motivational speaker and activity. Wendy is such a courageous women who speaks her truth to inspire and help others.

A truly incredible story, and having experienced the effects of alcohol in my own family, I ordered her book straight after this show to hopefully give hope to my family who are struggling with addiction. it always helps having a blueprint, of someone who has overcome the trauma, ptsd and problems we have experienced in our lives.

Some Key Time stamps:

[01:15] Wendy’s story

[06:45] Psychotic break

[08:00] Shooting her husbands mistress

[22:20] Wendys book – Mother Load her experiences and story

[29:00] Importance of being of value

[40:00] Inspite of adversity we can become and do more

Free Audible book sign up: https://www.amazon.co.uk/Audible-Membership/dp/B00OPA2XFG?actionCode=AMN30DFT1Bk06604291990WX&tag=are86-21

Carol Dweck Mindset https://amzn.to/2QajMvZ

Support the podcast: https://www.patreon.com/findyourvoice

Links to me:

Website: https://www.arendeu.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/aren.deu/

Twitter: https://twitter.com/arendeu

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/aren.singh

LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/aren-deu-65443a4b/

Podcast: https://www.findyourvoicepodcast.com

YouTube: http://tiny.cc/51lx6y

Links to Wendy:

Website: https://wendyadamson.com

Mother load book by Wendy Adamson: https://amzn.to/36Q4UWP

Wendys son’s Instagram: https://havasole.com

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/2jedi/

Changing your story and finding your voice is named: From shooting Your Husbands Mistress, Drug Addiction & County Jail to & 26 Years Sober #78 on podcast platforms.

Pippa Transcripts (may not be 100% accurate)

Hey Wendy tell us something about you that nobody would believe that I shot another woman welcome to an episode of find your voice a movement led by yours truly Aren Deu a guy who was overcome crippling anxiety adversity and difficulty like so many of you in life whose main goal now is to help you combat your excuses take control of your life to write your own story and most importantly find your voice so now without further ado I welcome the host of the show himself Mr Aren Deu okay so I would like to welcome Wendy items and on to today’s episode or find your voice this is going to be an absolutely incredible story and I just said to Wendy just before press the record button it’s like a movie is honestly like Amigos reading and I think it I just so happen to this lady through a journey so firstly Wendy welcome to find your voice how you doing today thank you thank you for having me it’s so nice to be on your show yeah I’m doing great love to head out and I’m glad you’re doing great I’m you ought to do great having come from a place where while at best you really was go shot almost I’m dad I don’t wanna spoil it for the listeners I think it’s going to sound so much better from your cell so about your story twenty five years ago when you were completely different annoy you wasn’t fine then so if you wouldn’t mind because at the minute you doing incredible things or or counselor motivational speaker not rise it is incredible but where did when the stock I grew up with a schizophrenic mother there was mentally ill and back in that it was the sixties and you know they use shock treatment heavy doses of Mallory all endorsing a growing up the thing that was that was always on white flight or freeze so there was like cortisol pumping into my bloodstream and it was a time when the I was developing you know is developed and the architecture my brain and neural pathways were developing so as a result I was always and fear in fear and then she actually killed herself when I was seven and she I’m color rest and she holds a big trunk full of photographs of her children and of her a wedding on top of her in a bathtub and drowned so that’s like a huge metaphor for the way you know buried drowning under her family and under her responsibility in your dreams so needless to say you know I had a lot of fear and are I feel that when a parent kills themselves that is always an option in the chart it’s an imprint it’s like been imprinted in your consciousness your psyche so when I found alcohol and drugs I was in self medicating that fear that P.T.S.D. if you well of living with the mother always trying to kill herself on and off you know like just so drugs and alcohol became my solution it became a way that I could be in the world and not kill myself does that make sense it makes sense in terms of how you said is called here and everything but obviously I can’t comprehend thinking about what you had to experience in terms of losing a parent especially one who out at that point Hey choice had to be killing has also I’m I’m not she lost away from being completely honest and I suppose to some element it does explain why you start self medicating as your soul of almost like a comfort I suppose in terms of trying to get over this fair yeah I mean it was like I had extreme social phobia I had a lack of trust for people so there was someone in the left an imprint in impact on me you know obviously no my dad was alcoholic because he couldn’t handle you know all of the disappointment I think he was alcoholic before she killed herself but in any case you know I always felt like I can’t metabolize these emotions that I’m feeling I can’t metabolize the fear the anxiety depression like dark dark depression and so like I said alcohol first then drugs later gave me away to metabolize it’s like okay okay you know I can be around people I can do I can be around to and go to the party I can feel like I can say that hi I don’t was extreme self hatred you know I just extreme and I think that comes from growing up in that kind of environment I don’t know could come from other places as well but in any case when I found drugs and alcohol I just dot is was my solution to the problem and the problem was me and that went on and on and on and it xcelerated to the point well jumps the nineties early nineties when I married I have two boys sixteen and nine and on you know I started doing methamphetamine you know it’s like I as a way to get things done I’m is trying to hold together an image that you know good little league games with my son are you know trying to you know function in the world but having this double life if you well you know and the thing about my mother I’m just gonna regress here for a minute when she when I found out she killed herself you know I didn’t find out at seven years out told the truth the actual way she died my dad said it was a heart attack but when I was becoming a teenager around thirteen I found out the real way she died I said I’d never ever ever ever be like my mother you know and it’s like when you say never it’s like giving the U. universe the exact coordinates to where you’re gonna land because she killed herself at thirty eight and thirty eight I had a psychotic break just like she did but but it it was like on drugs so it wasn’t just like but I mean you know I became my mother basic like very I ended up being the exact thing I didn’t want to be calm and so I had a psychotic break and in this kind of double life that I was living in this you know doing this not the speed hi I had it you know like that psychotic break I didn’t know I was in the middle of a psychotic break because when you’re having one you’re the last to now you know you you can’t reason so in any case my husband at the time was cheating on me and then it occurred to me the night he won out like to score some drugs with this girl and so my best thinking was when he gets home I’m gonna I’m gonna scare him I’m a scare them both they won’t do this to me so I had a gun a thirty eight Smith and Wesson in the house and my youngest my nine year old son was asleep and my older son was spend the night at his friends so I waited till they got home and as I’m waiting I’m building myself it into a frenzy if you well I like a lot of anger again I never learned how to metabolize my feelings I never learned a healthy way to process you add speed on top of that you’re like in trouble so when they drove up slowly looking and got back that night I grabbed a gun and ran outside inspired like shot over the card to scare them as they were you’re passing by very slowly looking for a parking spot and John you know it’s like so dot I was I was like totally out of my mind in a frenzy and they turn the corner and I ran after the car and he stopped the car for some reason I don’t know the reasoning for that except that he was also loaded and I just laid across the on the hood of the car and pointed the gun at him and then I had you know a brief moment of clarity where I I I felt like what are you doing in now what are you doing you’re out you know if anybody were to see right now they might think you’re crazy you know so then he put on the gas and I came off the hood and fired another round so that and I fired it towards I thought at the time my best recollection is towards the ground but somehow it ricocheted and it went through the girls aren’t that he was wet so it was like you know he drove off my husband drove off with her would end up taking her to the hospital I would end up going to jail you know for assault with a deadly weapon and after he took her to the hospital that same night he brought her home and moved her into my house so I’m in jail you know I was I thought I was trying to save my marriage in this yeah you know crazy state and I totally gave him permission to go full on with this other woman so that’s where that’s where the story my book begins at that point is the night I go to jail does just that X. you know leveling circumstance that that wearable like to com thank you to finally when the the starting to clear on my brain Stargate clear and when I started in it took days I’ll tell you it wasn’t like you know I you know once you lose your mind how do you get it back just come back just instantly so I gradually you know start to get clarity and client what have I done what have I done you know what are you doing you know with your life you know when I when I started to realize that it took awhile while I was in jail for a year I realize that the only language I ever spoke was like victim meets you know I’m a victim my mother was schizophrenic you don’t understand my dad’s an alcoholic you don’t understand now my husband has cheated on me you don’t understand look with these people have done to me you know you would use to I mean when do you use to our you know this is the case I was always building until I had the realization in jail that I go you know what I broke my own heart I am I am breaking my own heart I am wasting my life what the hell are you doing so danse when I started to wake up a little bit but it would take much more than that what do you think I just wonder if you have any questions absolutely amenable almost read a book here my son also the story nothing even hear it from yourself it’s so much more powerful than read about yourself when I was googling to try to reset you so I have numerous questions bear with me here so I’m always fascinated by white people do the things that they didn’t use the knot on the head towards the end of actually we said the victim mentality we can very quickly change the narrative and I had to excuse us also why we’re not doing the right thing you can sell while you don’t know what it’s like for me you haven’t lived in my shoes and I I completely get that because I see somebody here especially as a child whose only have a send the people who are supposed to be role models around to use and abuse drugs which in effect has affected you it’s seen you almost start to hate yourself struggle with social anxiety with other people and that’s worrying and I could sit here and say well you should have done better because I don’t know if I would have gone back and I’m not sure if anyone list they would’ve dumbass so it’s easy in hindsight to say here is that you’re you’re a victim and you should have a big old mentality instead really try and take control of that but what is beautiful from this whole thing is you said in the middle of the story and this is obviously because of where you are today the problem was me and you said that you recognize that I love that because you say not not was of see you taking accountability for your actions and you recognize that you will read in your own life which is incredible because if anyone goes to even a tenth of what you’ve just been through I accept if they go for that pop they self destruct because sometimes is a lot to take a new take on so so much you manage to turn around and that’s what I absolutely love about your story because otherwise you would have been read the statistic you would’ve been another statistic out somebody on like I said before the show Albrecht and social care of Scott siblings from social que and I never want them to be a statistic if I don’t know anyone to be a statistic our wish we would have that growth mentality that that’s not allow accord circumstances or a plastic dispensers dictate our future and what you’re doing now I which I’m so glad to see you as you’re in a much better place is doing more positive stuff so dusty over Nick nodded you for having overcomes unbelievable amount of investment we’ve only just touched on ever so briefly into where you are today so can I just quickly ask as SO ending questions about that you mentioned a few times in terms of metabolizing your feelings are you not able to do that yes I may allow that I meet here’s the thing it’s like when feelings come up I used to think they would kill me I used to think they would take me down because I was so depressed you know and and rightly so but you know it’s interesting your asses confined to your voice when I was a kid and my mother was having the schizophrenic breaks over and over again my father told us not to talk about it don’t tell the nuns at school don’t tell your friends this is no one’s business it’s no it’s you know we don’t tell anybody so I lost my voice I lost my voice and I have found that part of my healing part of my ability to metabolize my motion is through voice and through choice I have the choice to use my voice and re write the narrative on my story now if I if all of these things would happen to me and I would keep them and you know my own trunk like my mother did if I would have kept these in my own trunk there it’s useless it’s a secret but when I pulled them out and say look what I’ve been through and and look at you know it doesn’t it’s to inspire others tend to show others you can get to the other side I’ve gone back to juvenile halls that I’ve been in as a kid I I went into the system I was in a foster home hi you know so I I was gone back to those juvenile halls and talk to the girls that are there and they identify with me so it’s like you know maybe all of that experience everything I went through can I can turn it into a tool to help somebody else I found that is a drug and alcohol counselor listen all of the you know it’s like there I think I I ended up going to school for your credentialing for counseling but the most valuable education I got was my life experience because when I talk to somebody that is struggling with addiction and I know exactly what they’re going through what they’re feeling physically mentally emotionally it’s the broken parts in me that can reach the broken part and now so I because I came in a very very effective counselor as that but when the feelings I also had to do my own work and when my feelings I didn’t grieve my mother until I became sober okay so and I am so over twenty six years so when my dad told us not to talk about we also didn’t go to the funeral okay so there was no process of grief so no wonder I didn’t know how to metabolize emotions but now I allow myself space you know sometimes I might resisted a little bit I mean yeah I’m human you know I might like let what can I do to distract myself so I don’t have to feel this pain but I don’t take anything to alter my consciousness you know from the neck up arm and I try to stay present alternately I just I love myself to feel the pain or I allow myself to feel the joy you know whichever the case look I love that thank you so much for sharing that sophistic investigations on twenty six is a subsidy you hear a zing absolutely amazing and as you said the last bit by the feeling the pain so robin Sharma you somebody off follow he says to heal the wound you must fast delivery and when he said that it was light all over this incredible that makes so much more sense of not so effectively what you how to do it broke my heart I love it when you said growing up as a child you lost your voice you were almost how let let’s stay quiet Hey let’s not let’s not talk about and as a child when you’re developing and you’re trying to understand the world which is hard enough as it is you struggle when I log after was highly you found hiring finding your voice this is why I kind of cold it on your voice as a lot of reasons behind it and you have that choice in your life experiences people out you Wendy is is what for your voice is all about having people who have been through a because I have a certain level of the best you know I’ve been through in life about set my story ends there I want to show people that every single one of us has a story whether that is having to shoot the mistress of your husband or being on drugs and end up in county jail whether it’s just simply ends I eat or just China for fear of going out into public spaces or us at that particular time is that you like the hardest thing in the world I just want people to gain encouragement that you can turn it around with you got me slightly get because I’ll call addiction especially my family’s it’s taken its course on a lot of the very very close people and I always want to live in hall when I hear stories like yourself that one day maybe turned it around and they can be easily find figure applique I call control that and there’s been times in my life I’ve tried to help him be around twenty four seven make sure nothing happens but they need to make that decision and you mentioned something towards the end that was fantastic as well that you’re human so some days you don’t want to experience that we don’t want to go through the motions what you don’t do is when you destructors off you don’t use anything like alcoholism could so if you’re just you and thank you so much for sharing that thank you getting sober was the best thing I ever did in now it’s like I had to you know I mean it was hard to sing never did for me because since I been medicating for since I was a teenager dot when I sobered up to you know in my late thirties I am was like being a teenager again it was like under the influence if you will so the same social anxiety was back the same depression came back on you know all of all of that like being in the world like now what I have no buffer between me in these emotions and I found a lot of things that helped you know exercise was one of them I lived I lived by really close to the beach and I used to roller blade when I first got sober and there were some things that would help me so much like get out of my head and you know be like just you know what also you know that at the endorphins you know helps with the depression not to say I didn’t you know I still have some to question but it helped it helped immensely so I do things you know and I talk to other people I created a support system hi you know and one of my primary purposes was to to heal the relationship with my boys kill the relationship with my boys because I had done so much damage you know one of the reasons I wrote the book for many reasons well one of them is being you know all of those mothers that have made mistakes all of those fathers that have made mistakes raising their kids because we do we do nobody gave me a quote there was no class for me telling you know growing up like this is how you’ll be a parent this is how you model you know I had no role models so for all of those people that are suffering are all of those people that are incarcerated you have made a terrible mistake that they feel that there’s No Way Out there’s no way to heal the relationship I want to do that tell them there is a way there is a way but I had to remain sober I had to remain present for my kids it didn’t have my kids like I can’t just say I’m so sorry kids you know why did that too but that’s not enough I had to show them what a sober loving mother looks like and change the trajectory of alcoholism addiction mental illness change it to one of recovery and one of healing and one of redemption we have a choice so for all of those people that have no role models I didn’t have a role model when I was growing up or in jail you know so I wanted to write the book for them what is the book by the way Randy it’s called the mother lode L. O. eighty mothers out a lot of metaphor there I was carrying the load of my mother my resentments cause me to become her and then I was freed by forgiving her for one and I became free by becoming the mother that I never had for my children my voice because I think your stories so incredible the so many reasons that’s gonna book itself is going to help so so many people you don’t need to go through your view so the troll more everything that you’ve been through in order to get by you from that book because again in your life experience I am so happy that you’ve always he turned everything around from the recovery healing reduction side I’m sure you your voice now looking at you in the very very proud of you what you’ve done because not to set it up I’ve had alcoholics talk every day this is my last week from tomorrow to start sending you to the closest people in my heart breaks my heart because the next day I’m expecting the same thing you not give me hope hopefully maybe that they can be Fortino much see eye to eye our mission now hello to you but because I just hope it will help them be folders all why they’re going through because as parents and I’m not a parent yet so I’m not going to say anything that no context behind but nobody’s giving a blueprint you know my parents did the best things they knew what they could do I’m in terms of raising me I’m forever grateful the said things are probably would it do you if I have children the settings I absolutely would do is because I’m I’m very grateful to commit to a very loving family so that’s an incredible insight into you and your story and I think how many on paper is all is definite help people because the story just incredible is like I said it’s like a film and given us you mentioned that as a as a final point of just red hair is one of the most powerful things I can ever say to anyone so I’m so grateful to have guest let you on the show share your stories your vulnerabilities and everything so for that I will forever grateful and for the hundredth episode I’m due for for your voice is such you can be my story and the theme of my stories forgiveness because the thing that held me back and took a big section of my life I don’t want it to take anyone else’s life was forgiveness I when I was able to forgive what ever happened for me of the summer to save it for that show up and talk about it now well I’ve completely changed I was just in such an unbelievable amount place and I say that as a guy who as guys especially I’m talking seven eight years ago it’s all about being strong is all about bravado we don’t we don’t know we don’t go up to someone if you give them what for us like that doesn’t make sense it doesn’t make logical sense either way I not obvious you know in hindsight is one of the most powerful thing so thank you Wendy for sharing that I want to see in a little bit now then because you’ve been through more invested in many of my guests have and you’ve come to the other side which is absolutely fantastic along may not continue once a day to day like them for yourself because you mentioned exercise you mentioned talking and is the things that will help people release endorphins and just keep you focused and not relapse and what else do you do in your data service is a big component to my life as an addict an alcoholic we’re very self centered you know addiction is very much about self it’s a very much a very selfish our condition so on when I started to wake up I realized that you know again all of my experience can help somebody else and when I was living in that when I got out of jail living in a women and children’s shelter with my youngest son I was on you know the dole I think you call it there or welfare we call it here and John I could afford to buy my son shoes and so one day this woman that had gone through the transitional house with her son but my youngest son Ricky two pairs of shoes okay so made all the difference in the world to him as as you know I’m I’m gonna tell you a story so that you’ll see what my life is about on so on she wanted to pursue shoes but is it as a result of his deprivation became a sneaker had so and by the time he’s in his thirties he has over a hundred fifty pairs of shoes right thanks they are from the floor to the ceiling just boxes a blank you sent every color imaginable but he’s having like a crisis he’s got you has no purpose in this life you know he’s unhappy you know he’s just like one of my doing as a photographer the taking the photographs don’t mean anything and he looked over at those shoes any thought to my doing was so many shoes you know I hardly wear any of them and their people out there that don’t have any so he loaded up his car the next day and drove around the streets of Los Angeles in gave away some of his shoes his shoe collection he posted on Instagram and then immediately there was like all this but it’s like well that’s so cool how can we help so that was five years ago right and these like turn not idea that idea have a soul and nonprofit SO L. eat so I work part time for have a soul and that is like giving out shoes to at risk you kids are coming out of the foster system have no where to go people that are homeless people that are shelters we went back to that women and children shelter many times to give out everybody she’s there so again doctor Becky that gave Ricky two pairs of shoes back in the early nineties didn’t do it because he was gone pay it forward but as a result of that one act of kindness it left an imprint on him and two decades go by and since then we’ve given out over twenty thousand pairs of shoes we have Nike as a huge supporter thank you Nike finish line out we have the Herbert Simon’s family grant they’re amazing we have been behind us so much and it’s just it’s amazing clippers the clippers you know foundation you know we’ve been invited recently to a Lakers game it’s so it’s like what do I do with my time I use you I tried to be of value I have you know I was sucking I was could suck the energy right out of the room when I was in my addiction right so it’s like I believe that love is action I believe love is action so I try to take action and to be of store I come from you know basically my son didn’t forget you know he remembered what it felt like to receive a pair of shoes you know and as a result he became an addict to shoe addict but not till he started giving he gets more from giving out shoes than he ever did from getting shoot wow what a what a beautiful story so how the sold I’ll definitely put that in the short answer is also people can obviously go support is often not absolutely incredible and it comes a gain from the act of kindness which I think is one of the the great strides that all of us can have and it’s it’s funny you mention that I was doing a a separate podcast yesterday with one of my good friends we do a man’s mental health are cast as well just to help and going through whatever they’re going through life and he’s got a young daughter I’m one of the things he’s told us all about is not being calling his bed to be beautiful so how goes growth one of the princess to be people she’s always trying to be calling that obviously if I can about is inclined is beautiful as well and I was like if we just grow just being kind to one another that one act let’s be Spock so many people in the US that’s such a beautiful story and even with your son there so yes he may have had this addiction with sneakers up one point what’s before is he said his mother go through hard times a very difficult time and he could have easily ended up in chi in general did something stupid as well I never have you made the right choice there so kudos to him is awful you may see where that is doing so where you’re finally sounds amazing windy thank you I’m so I’m so proud of him and just on on the my other son because he’s doing amazing as well he did end up in jail he did follow in my footsteps for a while you know what I mean so just like I was following in my mother’s footsteps my oldest son Jerry was following in my footsteps but he is healing his wounds by his father a devoted father these days and he’s like always said basketball practice with his boys at the games he’s like in the bleachers cheering them on so are you know doc took some time it you know that’s again breaking the trajectory of addiction alcoholism because your kids you leave an imprint on on them just like I was imprinted my psyche was imprinted by my parents I I am printed something a message to my kids I want imprint something else I want imprint and it seems to work at scene and not over ninety but it you know it takes time but you know the service giving back to the community community building you know the cool thing about how the soul which I really like it’s some it has enough of the cool factor there’s you know the sneakers the sneaker culture photography you know a lot of content social media content that is an it is tracks young people millennials and other people to get involved in their community and volunteer you know so hi we come from a very like self centered kind of society so they come in they give out a pair of shoes and we don’t just hand out a pair shoes we fit the person with like and give them a retail experience and this person that comes to volunteer it’s the media at satisfaction of what it’s like to help another human being you know and they walk away just having a profound change and they often come back to volunteer again game we spoke about this prior to this episode is about being that change almost showing people robbed and telling people is I feel in life I love my greatest assets such as break I think would be inclined to being a person of my weight have come from see what my parents always did my parents my parents my mom especially right ninety hours a week consistently my dad was always a pace and you never tell a lie it’s always going to be a hundred percent honest and okay for row seats to stuff right on the car and this is the thing you guys now going out there doing absolutely incredible things in service especially coming from such a self centered places up what I think will open a greed that giving always always beats receiving I mean it if we just thing to you I think you guys have thanksgiving we have Christmas which it will be obvious you guys have a Christmas as well but when you give someone a present SO much bad and what have you received back and one on a White House office the sewer it’s it’s just a beautiful thing that you’re doing so I’m gonna segue ever so slightly number D. four made it just for the purpose of your time is all I’m for for this episode having been through everything that you’ve been to not having the right tools around you on the mindset of not being a victim anymore in terms of you know you can change your circumstances and you can be for their life what’s your biggest fear right now hi my biggest fear so I am writing a second book right now and I don’t know that I’m afraid you know bright sun we see I don’t know that it would be fair to qualify that as fear you know honestly I ate not that I’m fearless you know I deal sometimes like still a little bit of social anxiety when I’m in big events I do marketing for a a teenage an adolescent’s mental health facility so sometimes I’ll get a little fearful but what is been very empowering and this I’m in this is the truth is finding my voice is finding my voice writing my book it’s like when I wrote my book and put it out there these were all the secrets my dad told us not to talk about I was breaking a deep seated conditioning that I’d been condition as a trial to keep secrets so my making the choice to write the book and finding my voice and putting it out there I had no control so here here we are sitting you know doing this podcast you know you in the U. K. me in Los Angeles you know I put that out there and look at how it connected us you know we would not have it connected had I not written the book so finding my voice you’re finding your voice in your way I’m finding my voice in my way but doing was like it was like someone powering it was like you know I can’t control what others know about me and who cares you know some days I do care but for the most part it was like the shame doesn’t own me anymore the fear doesn’t own me you know I I can sometimes all have fear but I kind of walked through it I acknowledge it I see it for what it is and like when you’ve gone through things like I have you know and you’ve made it to the other side when you’ve gone through the lost the grief getting sober when you’ve gone through putting a book out there for the world to see it’s like it’s like an hour it really is empowering and healing so I don’t have a big fears now but you know that’s just today and I and that’s all I have is today absolutely love done nothing the last sentence open you said there was once you put yourself out there and you share your voice you you do a few things actually one is if you’re struggling you open yourself up for support the right person like would you like to help you but at the same time if you just say your water bill easy just get everything off in the hope that help someone responsible even just for your own sanity what then happens is the empowering failing is that nobody has anything else I can say back at you if that makes sense so it’s almost like that’s my west now just Carol my journey and it’s so refreshing all the very very emotional and I held the Intel is about the age that you want to know when we start find your voice I said listen I’m gonna tell everyone X. ones that this is a hundred sent me the funny thing was going on because I do want to choose a for the mental health they all have a say in there talk about how much we cry and it’s strange because now to four guys isn’t cry well I’ve put them not then all of a sudden now it is an empowering thing to just say I mean I can open the site not an adult most men women included will look at that and think why actually so okay I mean we almost go free society I suppose we manufacture rules on how you say people should be and I and I want to kind of scratch that and just say look on your voice find the person that you are I tend to be in this world and to do that it does take courage it just does take write a book like yourself and say well this is me and I can imagine face you’re probably thinking what’s the reception gonna be like what were you somebody who says you wanna bring value every time you put some incredible value to this episode when you saw that thank you from the bomb hot I’m not know when the wanted to segue into the form part of the show before we close the show down and on this well I’m just gonna put you through your paces and ask you must random questions for sixty to ninety seconds so whenever you’re ready go head okay Wendy tell us something about you that nobody would believe that I shot another woman absolutely absolutely add your your favorite book right now I have to say is mother love the biggest mistake last yeah not writing sooner proudest achievement my relationships with my boys your favorite motivational speaker right now I’d say Bernie brown if you had an extra hour day how would you spend writing the best lesson anyone as of a tool you when you get if you have more to give if you could get the listeners to practice one thing after this episode what would it be meditation if you could abolish one thing in the world what would it be hatred you Billy to read minds or predict the future read people’s minds who is your biggest role model to say right now Amy Dresdner your favorite color green and orange the ability to fly or be invisible to fly I’m finally Wendy what would you like to be remembered for for making a difference to you gonna do just fine with that so that does bring us almost towards the end of the show now sadly and I just have two more questions if I may windy for yourself so the first one is about reflection so I believe the hindsight is a wonderful thing because it teaches ways that we could have got their creek at easier with less heartache but at the same time I also believe the Jenny teaches so much as well it is the journey that makes us who we are today if you could go back maybe two younger Wendy whisper something in the air what would you say you’re never alone you’re not alone how awful and then finally when the the last question sadly all of this episode is about legacy so if in a hundred fifty as time or the exist is a book and this book is about use about your life and all of the amazing things that you’ve done and the chief I see what with the title of the book be a second what with the summary of the box tell us about you so I believe that what I have to give is my experience and if I can articulate that in the book the book art would be about my adolescence in my teens and what it would say at the end is that you know in spite of adversity in spite of everything that you go through that there is a purpose there is reason you’ve gone through it and you can get through anything I more than you can even imagine R. as one digit in her life as when you do and she’s doing right now so when the just before I close the show and give you a chance to tell the listeners where they can contact you with a compiler you where they can look at your book as well I definitely everyone to read that book are said to be downloaded buying it however you got available after the show is there anything you want to leave the audience with is there any questions that you wish I’d asked you that you maybe want to share no I think we were quite thorough you know I think there was just a pleasure talking to you and I’m so glad to be on a podcast with that finding your voice because that’s really what it’s all about and it’s the connection making connections and you know the impact we have on others it’s so important and one border quiet about what we’re going through other people can’t help and I think that the one thing that I would say is that well I tried to like hold you know tried to be a tough girl in ways it’s like I had no defense against kindness people yes it is it’s just I have no defense and I think we really need to be kind to each other it would be for message and what is the best place when did that people can connect with you about your book I’m just maybe for you Jenny as well so I’m on Facebook when the atom son I’m also have on my own website windy Adamson dot com and then if you wanna pick up the book now you can get it at Amazon its mother lode as I said ello es de by Wendy Adams son and if you want to follow have a soul on Instagram my son’s nonprofit it’s all lower case H. eight V. A. S. O. L. eat so follow that journey on he’s actually taking across off I have lost have a soulful trip across the United States and he is going to it’s dedicated to Kobe Bryant’s and he’s gonna planning on going to Kobe Bryant’s high school and bringing shoes there the kids there as a tribute to Kobe Bryant it would also be I’m an owner as well if I can reach out and I’d love to you sure he story on find your voice is all because I think spreading kindness is spreading something like that it’s it’s absolutely fantastic so much you reach I if you if he’s got a few more I was also in the day yeah I believe he’s going to be gone a lot of this month Feb worry please reach out to him he’s got a beer is a beautiful soul like you and you would love that you guys would connect for sure thank you so much Wendy from the bottom of my heart it was an absolute pleasure of it into you obviously don’t be a stranger now one of the things always trying to get my guess is support among the Jenny because without you find your voice would be nothing you guys help make this or what it is you guys help inspire the people you listen to this with your work with your courage I’m just being completely transparent with your store so thank you so much for your time today and also for anyone else at home thank you for listening thank you thank you so much and remember this podcast is absolutely free so all we ask in return is for you to share this with a friend and drop us a five star review over on iTunes have an awesome day How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice How to Find Your Voice

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